We All Need Loving Critics
I was reading this leadership book that said it well: we all need loving critics.
Leadership or even life in general, is a learning process. It is lifelong process where we discover more about ourselves and about the people around us. Thus we all need people who care deeply enough to give us honest feedback about how we are doing. We need loving truth tellers in our lives.
John Gardner, leadership scholar and presidential advisor, once remarked, “Pity the leader caught between unloving critics and uncritical lovers.”
It struck me once again that I need more of this sort of people in my life. Claudia has indeed fitted this role to a T. She has been my greatest fan as well as my greatest critic. Beside my wife, I have other such friends as well.
Off hand, I can think of a few of these people in my life and I am thankful for them. These are precious folks that help me grow and develop. I need them to continue to love me enough to want the best for me.
When I was young, my mum would punish me when I misbehaved (I was caned on a very regular basis for a large part of my growing up days). And often after she punished me, she would say these words, "if you are not my child, I would not even care".
I used to think to myself after she said this statement, "What bad luck is it that I am your child! Can you please care less then?" But as I grow older, I understand fully what my mum meant when she said that.
God is like that too, isn’t He? He loves us so much that He will never allow our wrong doings to go unlearnt. Some call it tough love.
May we all actively seek out for more loving critics in our lives! We need them.
Leadership or even life in general, is a learning process. It is lifelong process where we discover more about ourselves and about the people around us. Thus we all need people who care deeply enough to give us honest feedback about how we are doing. We need loving truth tellers in our lives.
John Gardner, leadership scholar and presidential advisor, once remarked, “Pity the leader caught between unloving critics and uncritical lovers.”
It struck me once again that I need more of this sort of people in my life. Claudia has indeed fitted this role to a T. She has been my greatest fan as well as my greatest critic. Beside my wife, I have other such friends as well.
Off hand, I can think of a few of these people in my life and I am thankful for them. These are precious folks that help me grow and develop. I need them to continue to love me enough to want the best for me.
When I was young, my mum would punish me when I misbehaved (I was caned on a very regular basis for a large part of my growing up days). And often after she punished me, she would say these words, "if you are not my child, I would not even care".
I used to think to myself after she said this statement, "What bad luck is it that I am your child! Can you please care less then?" But as I grow older, I understand fully what my mum meant when she said that.
God is like that too, isn’t He? He loves us so much that He will never allow our wrong doings to go unlearnt. Some call it tough love.
May we all actively seek out for more loving critics in our lives! We need them.
posted by Jeff Chong at 11:12 pm
4 Comments:
i couldnt have agree with you more! critics who would make their comments more gentle... and lovers who would dare to make comments without the fear of hurting the other parties... but hey... Jesus made himself a wonderful example as such... aint that sweet?
I also read that fear is a common obstacle to giving loving constructive painful feedback. We are afraid of hurting people and of how they may respond.
So we also need to take ownership to respond well when loving critics come our ways.
too bad to be true...hehe...to people who I care more I ussally tend to be harsher on them, sometimes a bit too direct and lack of gentleness.
how did you find out u have a new comment on your old post? i m still not quite familar with blogger. ^^
Hi Felix, I checked through the number of comments when I logged on to my blog. Perhaps there is a way to alert you but I am not sure how :(
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